sims gill why mummy drinks
Sims Gill Why Mummy Drinks
Tuesday 8th September First day back at school. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year. I can totally do this. Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better - I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering 'FML' repeatedly. Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet mastered French plaits, but I am quietly confident that these are mere details in my grand master plan… It is Mummy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel of a future of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes, and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like 'Oooh gosh, are you having another glass?' But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who 'live for their children' and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring's extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering 'FML' over and over again. Until she remembers the gem of an idea she's had…
1488 Руб.
Sims Gill Why Mummy Swears
The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks. Monday, 25 July The first day of the holidays. I suppose it could've been worse. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and learn about some history. As soon as we got there I remembered why I don't use the flipping National Trust membership - because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very precious and breakable items don't really mix with children, especially not small boys. Where I had envisaged childish faces glowing with wonder as they took in the treasures of our nation's illustrious past, we instead had me shouting `Don't touch, DON'T TOUCH, FFS DON'T TOUCH!" while stoutly shod pensioners tutted disapprovingly and drafted angry letters to the Daily Mail in their heads. How many more days of the holiday are there? Welcome to Mummy's world... The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips... Mummy's marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always. Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she's also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn't have to run out when the nanny calls in sick. Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing `comfy trousers' to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T? Probably effing not.
850 Руб.
Sims Gill Why Mummy Doesn't Give a ****!
Family begins with a capital eff. I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All 'just phases!' When do the 'phases' end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.
1082 Руб.
Sims Gill Why Mummy's Sloshed
No.1 bestselling author Gill Sims is back with her eagerly awaited fourth and final Why Mummy novel. I just wanted them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic. Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she’s a little bit lost. And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don’t know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that saying ‘I can’t find it Mummy’ is not the same as actually looking for it! Amidst the chaos of A-Levels and driving tests, she’s doing her best to keep her family afloat, even if everybody is set on drifting off in different directions, and that one of those directions is to make yet another bloody snack. She’s feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, and the only thing that Mummy knows for sure is that the bigger the kids, the bigger the drink.
1082 Руб.
My Mummy
Celebrate mummies with this adorable book brought to you by Peppa Pig and her little brother, George! This delightful story shows the many reasons why Peppa and George love their mummy, from her comforting cuddles to her fierce firefighting. The perfect present for Mummy Pigs everywhere!
748 Руб.
Кроссовки Jordan Why Not Zer0.2 Mummy, кремовый
ХарактеристикиБренд: Air JordanЦвет: кремовый
21601 Руб.
Howarth Daniel Why I Love My Mummy
Featuring children's own words and heart-warming pictures, this book can be given by boys or girls to their mummy on mothers' day. Or at any time! `I love my mummy because... ` Everyone's mummy is the best. And who better to tell the world than children themselves? This charming book combines endearing things said by children about their mothers with gentle illustrations of familiar animals. With beautiful pictures and charming words from children, all about mummies, this is the perfect book to share with Mum!
1411 Руб.
Sims Gill The Saturday Night Sauvignon Sisterhood
It's time for a w(h)ine 'Oh, for f*ck's sake' muttered Claire under her breath, as she opened the fridge to see what she could find for a no effort dinner. The children continued to fight behind her. They regarded any form of fish not encased in breadcrumbs as toxic, and were resistant enough to the delicious homemade fishfingers Claire had made for them, insisting they much preferred Captain Birdseye's version. White wine was starting to look like quite an appealing dinner actually. Maybe just a small glass. 'Are you having wine, Mum? You know you're not supposed to have wine every night. We did about alcohol units at school. That's quite a big glass of wine, how many units do you think are in it?' 'Bet the bastards didn't tell you that wine is remarkably good at cancelling out whining though, did they?' muttered Claire. Claire's family has gone nuclear. Her precious moppets keep calling Childline when she feeds them broccoli, she's utterly Ottolenghied out at weekends, and her darling husband is having an affair with her best friend. The question isn't whether she needs a glass of wine, but is there one big enough? Enter the Sauvignon Sisterhood, a new set of friends brought together by a shared love of liquid therapy. Together they might just be able to convince Claire that, like a good bottle of red, life really can get better with age. Or at least there's more to it than the joy of an M&S non-iron school uniform.
2435 Руб.
Heapy Teresa The Wonder Tree
"Mummy!… shrieked Little Owl. "Look! The leaves are all falling!… As Little Owl's mummy reassures him that his tree isn't about to fall down, he learns all about why trees are the perfect homes for animals. Great for fans of Owl Babies, The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark and Can't You Sleep, Little Bear? Debut illustrator Izzy Burton breathes a welcome burst of originality into the picture book market. Toddlers and pre-schoolers will be delighted by her little owls and they'll love Teresa Heapy's reassuring text.
1310 Руб.
Кроссовки Air Jordan Jordan Why Not Zer0.2 'Mummy', кремовый
JordanWhy Not Zer0.2 получили игривую обновленную версию Nike от Nike с тематикой «Мумия». Выпущенные в октябре 2019 года кроссовки имеют изображение повязки вдоль верха, детали из парусины и ярко-зеленую строчку. Прозрачная седловина в средней части...
23195 Руб.
G X Todd Defender
In a world where long drinks are in short supply, it's dangerous to listen to your inner voice.Those who do, keep it quiet.But one man listens to the voice in his head telling him to buy a lemonade from the girl sitting on a dusty road.There is a reason why Pilgrim and Lacey must cross paths.They just don't know it yet . .
529 Руб.
Defender
In a world where long drinks are in short supply, it's dangerous to listen to your inner voice.Those who do, keep it quiet.But one man listens to the voice in his head telling him to buy a lemonade from the girl sitting on a dusty road.There is a reason why Pilgrim and Lacey must cross paths.They just don't know it yet..
529 Руб.
G X Todd Defender
In a world where long drinks are in short supply, it's dangerous to listen to your inner voice.Those who do, keep it quiet.But one man listens to the voice in his head telling him to buy a lemonade from the girl sitting on a dusty road.There is a reason why Pilgrim and Lacey must cross paths.They just don't know it yet . .
529 Руб.
Stainton K. The Bad Mothers Book Club
The laugh-out-loud new novel from the ebook bestseller! Meet Emma, the new Mum on the block. Since moving to the Liverpudlian seaside after her husband’s career change, her life consists of the following: long walks on the beach (with the dog), early nights (with the kids) and Netflix (no chill). Bored and lonely, when Emma is cordially invited to the exclusive cool school-mums’ book club, she thinks her luck may finally be about to change. But she soon finds the women of the club aren’t quite what they seem - and after an unfortunate incident involving red wine and a white carpet, she finds herself unceremoniously kicked out. The answer? Start her own book club - for bad mothers who just want to drink wine and share stories. But will this town let two book clubs exist? Or is there only room for one queen of the school gates..? Perfect for fans of Big Little Lies and Why Mummy Drinks.
1119 Руб.
Stainton K. The Bad Mothers Book Club
The laugh-out-loud new novel from the ebook bestseller! Meet Emma, the new Mum on the block. Since moving to the Liverpudlian seaside after her husband’s career change, her life consists of the following: long walks on the beach (with the dog), early nights (with the kids) and Netflix (no chill). Bored and lonely, when Emma is cordially invited to the exclusive cool school-mums’ book club, she thinks her luck may finally be about to change. But she soon finds the women of the club aren’t quite what they seem - and after an unfortunate incident involving red wine and a white carpet, she finds herself unceremoniously kicked out. The answer? Start her own book club - for bad mothers who just want to drink wine and share stories. But will this town let two book clubs exist? Or is there only room for one queen of the school gates..? Perfect for fans of Big Little Lies and Why Mummy Drinks.
1119 Руб.
Kleeman A. Something New Under the Sun
What is really going on?Patrick Hamlin has come to Hollywood to see his novel be adapted for the screen, but why does he get the feeling that the film project is a smokescreen for something else? Does Cassidy Carter, the troubled starlet due to play the lead, know something he doesn't? And what is the truth about WAT-R, the synthetic water everyone drinks in LA?
659 Руб.